When it comes to weight loss, there’s often this misconception that we need to beat ourselves up to see results. That we need to punish our bodies, restrict ourselves to the point of misery, or push through pain just to reach our goals. But what if the real secret to success lies in something we rarely talk about: self-love?

For years, I believed I had to punish myself to lose weight. In my twenties, I did what many people do—I restricted calories to dangerous levels, exercised endlessly, and convinced myself I wasn’t enough unless I looked a certain way. But, despite shedding pounds quickly, the results were never sustainable. Why? Because the foundation was built on self-loathing, not self-love.

The truth is, loving yourself is the most powerful tool you can have in your weight loss journey. When I stopped trying to force myself into unhealthy extremes and instead started focusing on honoring my body, everything shifted.

Self-Love Builds Resilience

You’ve probably heard the saying “the journey is just as important as the destination,” and it’s true. It’s not just about the number on the scale but the mindset you build along the way. When we approach weight loss from a place of self-love, it makes us more resilient during tough moments. We stop beating ourselves up over slip-ups and instead see them as part of the process. Patience and persistence become natural because we’re not looking for a quick fix—we’re in it for the long haul.

The Power of Sustainable Habits

When you come from a place of self-respect, you start to make choices that serve you in the long run. I learned this firsthand when I shifted from crash diets and extreme restrictions to building sustainable habits. I didn’t go all-in overnight—I started with small, manageable changes. Pilates was the first step for me. It wasn’t about weight loss at first—it was about strengthening my body and respecting it enough to keep moving.

That’s when the magic happened. Slowly, I built a routine that felt right for me. I didn’t focus on being perfect; I focused on progress. I learned to love the process, not just the end result.

It’s Not About Perfection, It’s About Progress

Like most people, I’ve fallen for the “all-or-nothing” mentality. I tried everything from crash diets to gastric bands, but nothing stuck because I wasn’t building a healthy relationship with my body. Weight loss wasn’t about loving myself enough to make consistent, healthy choices; it was about punishing myself for not being perfect.

That all changed when I shifted my focus to loving myself enough to make small, sustainable changes. It’s about progress, not perfection.

Every day, I had to choose to show up for myself—even when I didn’t feel like it. Sometimes, that meant going to the gym when I was tired. Other times, it meant eating foods that nourished me instead of giving in to unhealthy cravings. The key was making these choices out of love for myself, not out of guilt or shame.

Self-Love Is About Health, Not Appearance

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in my own journey is that weight loss is about health, not appearance. For years, I chased after a body that met some external standard, but it never made me happy. What truly brought me peace was the realization that health doesn’t just mean looking a certain way—it means feeling strong, energized, and confident in your own skin.

When I embraced self-love, it wasn’t about forcing myself to fit into a mold. It was about embracing my body and giving it what it needed to be healthy and strong. That meant prioritizing my health—body, mind, and soul—and making choices that aligned with my well-being.

The Real Secret to Success

The real secret to successful weight loss isn’t in the number on the scale—it’s in the way you treat yourself along the way. When you start with self-love, the rest follows. You’ll make healthier choices, stick to your goals, and learn to be patient with yourself during the ups and downs.

So, if you’re ready to start your own journey, remember: You don’t have to punish yourself to see results. Start by loving yourself enough to take small, consistent steps. And as you build those habits, you’ll find that the weight loss will come naturally. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about progress.